Remember that goal I set… have an awesome race, gain some confidence going into the marathon, and don’t need a PR, just a good race? Yea, that didn’t happen. Then immediately you start to reflect. Why did it not go well? Maybe it was because I did 15 on Sunday, 3miles of speed work Tuesday, and 10 miles at marathon pace Wednesday, and 2 weight training days? So 28 miles right before a ½. Probably not the best idea. Or, blame it on the weather? It was hot, humid, and gross. My chaffed sports bra lines can show you that for sure. My legs ached the entire time, even hinging on cramping, especially around miles 7-9. Or maybe it is because this isn’t fun for me right now? I’m more or less running scared. I had a lot of issues last year,Plantar Fasciitis, I have very little cartilage in my knees (thank you dad, he doesn’t either), I have a random hip issue stemming from no cushioning in my bottom two vertebrates (like what happens to 70% of people over the age of 65, except I have it now). I know… I may sound like a whiney excuse maker, but it’s the reality of the situation. So I hope this doesn’t cause your eyes to roll at me. So really I’m not sure… but either way, I should be happier about finishing a ½ marathon than I am. Boooooo hiss on this attitude but I can’t shake it!!
I have tried everything. EVERYTHING!! Rereading race stories of people, looking over my plan, making changes, looking at the shiny medal I would get at Louisiana Marathon, positive self-talk, negative talk, self-bribery, sarcasm, rest, breaks, I even at this point would pay someone to run next to me the entire time. Takers?? Anyone? Bueller… Bueller?
As of right now, I am NOT going to run the Louisiana Marathon. My heart has also never really been in this race, which to me makes it wayyyy harder. I have refused to let myself get excited (revert back to running scared, White Rock Marathon memories, pain, disappointment). I say this, but I have not gone as far as to change my race, or really even stop training. I have looked at a few other plans, more “finish” a marathon type plans, instead of what we have been doing, that have a few less miles.
The main huge issue is I just truly don’t think my body likes anything over 13.1 miles. I have just now started to feel those issues pop up that kind of remain bearable running under 13. Really half training is not bad on my body, but upper mileage just starts to cause everything to freak out. I’m still sore on Thursday from Sunday long runs. Everything hurts, and every remedy doesn’t work, ice baths, foam rolling, stretching, adult beverages… ha. Nothing. It just feels like crap. This doesn’t happen for a half. I mean it does but NOT to the same level, and it requires way fewer miles per week to run. Duh, half! So I am not sure if it is “worth it.” I can do it, but what will I feel like after, what will my body do? Can it handle the rest of training and the run? Maybe I’ll just play it on feel? Can you train like that?? UGH!
I could run another marathon… and finish… I think. But I don’t know how fast, how happy, how painful/painless it will be, what damage will be done… etc? Am I supposed to drop to a half and not ever attempt the distance again to “save” my body/mind, so that I’ll actually keep running.
Am I a weenie?
Then to add further confusion to this madness. I am not a lone runner. I have a race buddy. A badass race buddy. I don’t want to not do it and her do it alone, train alone, be out there alone. Not that she wouldn’t be anyways… I’m slower (and ps I’ve known this forever, check out the about us page, so this is not it either) Don’t worry I have run that option through my mind as being a “mental” reason for this. It’s not. But you get the point. Also that jealous streak sets in of “I’m so close to this person, and she can do it, and I don’t feel I can.” (race distance not speed) Ouch… but it’s true, and you all know what I am talking about. We are human. So yea… I don’t know what to do.
Do I just need to become a bike rider?
So there you have it. My sad whiney, god only knows what rant.
What would YOU do?
One word=Triathlon.
Three words: you are crazy! Hahaha it’s never been in my radar and scares me! Tri people are a crazy breed! Gotta learn to swim and not doggie paddle. Ok that was more words!
I think it is okay and even admirable for you to make that decision. I am asked often when I am going to run a marathon and many times I think maybe I will start training for one. But then the more I think about it and weigh the time it takes to train for one, the beating my body would take and my need to have a good running / life balance, I always decide that I’m just not ready and willing to tackle it. Maybe some day. Maybe not. And I think it’s okay if you decide you want to do something instead of running. I know that is also a hard decision since you identify as a runner but above all you are an athelete and that will persist no matter what you do! Chin up!
Thank you so much! You actually made me cry! It’s so much harder to decide that it sounds to anyone outside of running and I hate that but you are right. It’s ok! I’ll just keep repeating that!
I say do whatever makes you happy. Lots of people cross the finish line of a 26.2 and vow to never run one again, and they don’t. I’ve ran 4 marathons (3 full and one long painful 24 mile run) in 18 months and let me tell you, the mental break is just as important in recovery. So if you’re mind and heart are telling you not to run, I say listen to it. The marathon will always be there, and trust me, your badass racing buddy will love if you are a “spectathlete” during that marathon nd you can support her that way. And when or if the time comes that you are ready to train for another one, you will know. Take some time to look inside and see what it is you really want. You’ll make ther ight choice.
Thank you Marci! I am torn but it does make sense to just do it when I’m ready and not force it. And I LOVE your “Spectathlete” word! We both talked about being better spectators recently! I can do that for sure!
Don’t hurt yourself. Above all, don’t hurt yourself. No marathon is more important than being able to just get around.
What are you doing for strength training? Stronger quads, hamstrings, glutes, calves, all of it, will give your knees relief… especially the glutes.
You had a tough week. There are always going to be physical & mental low points in a training cycle. Take a day or two to recharge. If you’re still feeling the same, then hey, you run for you, not us, so make the decision that YOU are most comfortable with. There are many other races out there, when you’re ready.
Thanks Brian! You are right and I think I’m frustrated too because I have worked hard at trying to make those pains go away. It’s not worth it. I know coming from you that timing is a huge part! Thank you so much!
Oh and hey, the most important part, if all this doesn’t work (or even if it does), hire a coach! Wink.
Haha! This is true! I do know this one kinda tall running guy that does that 😉
Girl, I know exactly how you feel. It’s hard to struggle through injuries when it seems the entire world can run pain-free. (Obviously, this isn’t the case, but it sometimes feels that way). From reading your post, I don’t see the joy in it for you and I’m sure that’s difficult (and brave of you) to admit. Take some of the pressure of off yourself and do what makes you happy. You’re not a weenie. You’re a badass who has accomplished great things and overcome so much. You’ll continue to do great things, but do the great things that bring you joy.
Injuries do suck and you do feel alone in that, even though you aren’t. There is no way around that feeling I think. I’m so glad that you get that! I do think it’s scale down time because I’m having issues feeling like this whole ride has been an accomplishment and its has! Thank you so much!!
I am right there with you. I’m struggling with the same decisions you are. I have this certain idea of what kind of runner I want to be and how much racing I want to do and I’ve learned that I’m not that runner yet. Well, I am but the cost is too high. I want to run and race well, not just get it done. I want to feel good while I’m doing it and have fun. For me, that means I’ll be racing less and racing shorter distances in 2013. But I am still conflicted and sad. I know it’s best for my body but my heart says it wants the bling! 😉 I talked it over with a friend at lunch yesterday and told him about my decision to back off on going for a 100 miler next year and to just do 3 marathons and he agreed and told me something that I think works for you as well. He told me that my body is still building itself as a runner and stepping back for a while will allow it to catch up to what I’ve been doing and make it stronger. That I can concentrate on building a base for the following year (or the next, my choice) and having fun.
It’s hard though because you see others who’ve been running as long as you and they are doing more and flourishing. It’s very hard to remember that we are all an experiment of one and what works for someone else might not work for me/you. If it doesn’t feel right to you, that’s the thing you have to pay attention to. Do what does feel right for you. Maybe the next year or the year after that, you’ll feel better about trying a marathon again. You have got TONS of time. Our goal is to run the rest of our lives, right? And you are still young!
Good luck with whatever you decide and know that you will have a TON of people supporting you either way. 🙂
Ahhh! I had to come back to this three times to finish it, because it made me cry. Thank you so much and I really appreciate the “we are an experiment of one” it’s sucks to do but I do truly think that if I even want to keep running this is the reality. Its not been fun and i havent even felt like I’ve accomplished much which is dumb. And so true, we are building as runners! Wise words lady! Thank you thank you.
This is NOT sad and whiny… it is NORMAL. I would say keep training like you are running the marathon, unless it becomes SO miserable and you are dreading it, because maybe you will have a last minute change of heart and want to run it, and therefore you would be prepared mileage-wise. BUT, honestly, this sounds like a pretty classic case of burn out and maybe you need to take some time off! Maybe take a month or two off from running seriously, and then you will be back in action ready to train for a marathon that your heart is more into! Could you always run the half at Louisiana or is there only a full?
Thanks lady! yes there is a 1/2 so that is good!! It’s looking most desirable! And it has really crossed my mind to stay “on track” so ill see! Thank you for reading and telling me that. I don’t want true burn out but like you said, it looks reallllly like it! Thanks
I feel that way often after an event. In fact, it’s the reason I don’t have a set “plan” anymore. I just put time on my feet each week and know I can complete a 50 mile race if I wanted to. It is good to take a step back and ask why you do what you do, while other times you just need to do.
Yea now to just figure out that difference! Ugh
Well, I know this feeling. I think it’s perfectly normal to feel this way. I’d just say, don’t let the little aches and pains keep you from running. I’ve always felt that if you can run a half, you can do a full. BUT, don’t feel like you’ve got something to prove. No one is making you run that distance now and no one should make you feel that way. If running isn’t fun right now, step it back a bit and run when you want for however far you want. Keep it fun. I did that most of this year and it’s been a blast. CC will tell you, I’ve run probably 3 days a week all year. It’s been much more enjoyable and I finally feel like I can step it up again. Just remember running is yours and that it’s only fun if you’re doing it for you!
Thanks Luke! I definitely won’t let the little aches get in the way, it’s sometimes hard to tell the difference! I think I might just step mileage back to 1/2 and then reevaluate later… Hopefully it comes back like you said!! Thank you again!
I have found that often times the smart things to do when it comes to running are the hardest things to do. Listen to your body and know that no matter what you choose, it will be okay! Marathon or not, you are awesome!*
Thank you Amy! Its hard and its harden when there are so many factors…
Obviously a tough decision but probably the right one. There’s a big difference between 13.1 and 26.2. I’ve run four halves but never had any desire to double it. Marathons are a great accomplishment but not if they cause so much pain and anguish.
yea, there is a huge difference. I agree on the pain part. Wish the varying levels were easier to decide between..
Yea it’s a big difference… And such a weird thing to grasp. Don’t like the pain but still am so torn. Ugh!
My heart is breaking for you, but I am also glad that you are having this moment of clarity. Remember, we run because we love it and because it is fun. There is no mandate that you HAVE to run a marathon to be bona fide. I want to see you out there smiling on the run for many years to come. Forcing yourself to do a single marathon might not be the best for your long term goal–to have a lifetime of healthy running. That race on Sunday was a bit of a beating, a few days off and a few days of running solely for “fun” (no watches, goals, etc) might be the best thing for you. Your running partner is so sweet and understanding and also wants you to be around for the long term.
Listen to your heart and your gut and you can’t go wrong. In the meantime, know that we are here for you and we care about you as a person (as in I don’t care if you ever put on running shoes again) and want to see you happy!
You are so sweet Michelle! Thank you, the more I read this and just talk about where people are in marathon training puts it into prospective a little. And yes, my running partner is a huge blessing, wouldn’t have even made it this far. May take your advice on a watch- less, goal-less run this weekend!
I totally understand those feelings. I haven’t run a full marathon and I may not finish the one I’m signed up for in Jan. I wish I had words of advice for you. All I can say is that I know your running partner will support and help in whatever you decide to do. You all are amazing friends. You can do whatever you set your mind to, the question is whether your gut instinct tells you it’s right for you. I believe I. You no matter what!
Thanks lady! I’m so impressed with your determination, we both are. Can I have a little of that?? Thank you for cheering us on and believing!
I think it would be a good idea to mix it up. Find a gym that offers something new and try it out. I’m getting back into shape before training and started taking Yoga Sculpt Classes, I managed to shave 7 minutes off my (very very very) slow 5k time. But by getting into a new class I started to crave a good run instead of feeling like i “HAD” to run. The first commenter suggested a triathlon, and that is something I’d like to work towards, so maybe finding a swim class you could start going to?
Wow 7min! That is awesome! I haven’t done a totally great job of mixing it up this time when I look back! Thanks for the advice! I think we both also miss our yoga!
You’re not a weenie. If you’re heart isn’t in it, there’s no point. Do what makes you happy. This is the biggest lesson I learned in my last marathon. Do what makes you happy.
Thanks lady!! I feel like one but you are right! It has to be right to run it! Still sorting it out.
I don’t think you sounds whiny at all. Everything you brought up is something that you should be taking into consideration at this point and those that don’t run the risk of injuring themselves or not being able to finish at all. I think if your heart isn’t there then don’t force it. There will always be another marathon on another day if you decide to go that distance again.
Thank you so much. You are so right the distance isn’t going anywhere. I’ll get my mind and body in a better place and can look at it again in the future! Thanks again!!
in my opinion, you don’t sound whiny at all. you sound very smart and aware of what your body does best with. there isn’t anything wrong with that at all! injuries suck, chronic injuries suck even more. then adding not exactly sure if your heart is in the game… life’s too short to stress yourself out like that!
i know as runners once we accomplish certain things we tend to lose sight of the things we’ve done. the 1/2 marathon is STILL an extremely respectable distance. also, you know what’s neat about 1/2s?! you don’t have to train for four months. i think you can agree that with a few weeks prep you can just wake up and decide you want to run one!
chin up lady, do what’s best for YOU!!! it’s not like you are giving up on running, you just know what your body does best with! 🙂
Agreed in the entire prep part! I think marathon training is such a different animal and it just wears on you. I want to be able to walk normal! I just clearly don’t do well with it. Thanks for letting me not feel whiney. Just hope I’m making the best choice in the end.. May never know but at least it feels right.. Well most of the time! Happy Friday friend!